he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
