He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I cannot find my penis.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
