garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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