I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
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We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
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Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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