if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
