hotel room ftw
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
