She is in my trunk
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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