You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
