im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
