Buhtt sex?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
