Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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