he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
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Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
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Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
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