I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
