I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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