when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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