i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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