I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
