you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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