Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
