I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
