i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
