I hate all girls vehemently.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
