dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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