my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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