She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
