Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
