playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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