I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
