I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
smell my finger.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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