just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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