just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize