No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
