Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
