I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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