You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
