I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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