Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
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So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Are my feet made of real feet?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
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I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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