after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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