That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
