The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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