she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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