If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
