She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
