I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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