Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Let's get the cat blown out
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
