dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize