Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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