I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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