i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
