i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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