I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
