I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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