can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Your shirt... Was in my pants
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
