He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
