Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
