What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
