So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
