Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
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I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
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I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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